Beginning on a Controversial Note....Classy!

I've been feeling like beginning a blog for awhile now, but my life is so boring, I don't really believe it would be that interesting to anyone else. Alas, I feel like I need to unpack a news story today, albeit with a very unpopular opinion.

I'm speaking, of course, of the Ray Rice situation.

Now before an angry mob shows up at my door with torches and pitchforks, let me explain. I do not in any situation think it's appropriate to hit a woman. Really, I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone else, but I definitely and without question do not think a man should hit a woman.

When the story broke initially, my husband, who I adore and believe is a champion of women, was outraged. I was surprised, and disappointed, but I wanted more details. When video emerged of the incident aftermath (outside the elevator), it became apparent that something very bad had taken place, and that punishment was coming. But still...I didn't feel outraged. I mostly just felt sad, and maintained that we didn't know what happened in the before, so we couldn't make snap judgements.

Now that the Revel is out of business, the footage from the elevator has surfaced. Now that you actually see punches thrown, everyone is angrier. It's as if seeing the actual punches thrown makes it real.

I feel like an awful person, because I don't feel more outraged. I don't feel a bloodlust and a desire to make Ray Rice "pay." I just feel....so sad.

I'm sad...that it happened. I don't know why the two of them chose to escalate their arguement to the physical. I get that it wasn't self defense, as Ray Rice's wife is much smaller than him, and he obviously hit her much harder than she hit him.

I'm sad..that all the charity work he did for his anti-bullying campaign will be forgotten, and this will be his legacy.

I'm sad...that in essence, his life is ruined. I am honestly concerned that he may attempt to take his life in the near future. I can't even imagine.

I'm sad that I feel so much compassion and sadness for him, when he obviously did something horrible.

I think for me, it boils down to this: I have done a lot of things in the dark of my life that I would be horrified to have people see. I've made a lot of mistakes, and if this is how society reacts to someone making one (rather huge, awful and glaring) mistake, I hate to see what would happen if some of my bad behaviors were revealed.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

I realize this isn't a compelling argument. I don't think I could even make one. I'm embarassed that I feel this way.

I hope he is able to redeem himself.

I hope this was really just a one time thing.

I hope women who are being battered continually seek help, even though it is difficult.

I grew up in an abusive household. I saw first hand the toll domestic violence takes.

I also suffered violence at the hands of a loved one. I know how hard it can be to escape the cycle of abuse, and to not turn that abuse on others. I was shocked when I realized I possessed those traits, and if not watched dilligently, I could become an abuser.

It's all about choices.

Ray Rice made a terrible choice, and it's ruined his career.