Feeling a Little Validated

So I mostly secretly went and joined a gym again last week. Yay me! This one is very bells and whistles-y. Instead of the Planet Fitness do your own thing (which, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed immensely), this one has a bit more guidance. Every month, you can see a personal trainer, a nurse who does your measurements and runs a few quick tests, and a nutritionist. All of these things together make me hopeful for a bit more staying power. There's also classes, ridiculous amounts of equipment, a pool, a sauna...it's the business.

Today, I met with the nurse. I didn't know quite what to expect, since I've never really seen anyone specifically for weight loss and overall health improvement. I was kind of cranky because I intended to work out after I met with her, but I forgot my tennis shoes and towel. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day.

She had my step on the scale, which was a bit daunting. I started this blog to be more honest and open with the world, so I'm going to tell you that I weigh more now than I have EVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

When I came back from the West Coast, I felt like a Weeble. I'm pretty sure if you knocked me over, I'd bounce right back up. I weighed in at 320, and I was embarassed and uncomfortable. I ate my feelings with great aplomb, and it showed.

Is that....creme brulee? I love creme brulee!

Today on the scale.... I weigh 340.

That hurts, right in my heart place.

The GOOD news is, my blood pressure is perfect. I knew that already.

The BAD news is, I'm barely flexible at all, I need to improve my bicep strength (doable), and y'know, lots of fat.

The very interesting news which harkens back to my title today, is something that was confirmed to be true.

I maintain that there is no way I could ever be 130lbs. If you use one of those fancy BMI charts, that's what it tells you I should weigh. Welp, it's a dirty liar.


In addition to the fact that I do enjoy food and don't intend to subsist on lettuce and tic tacs for the rest of my life, my important bits (bones, organs, muscle) weigh approximately 192 lbs. 

(Yes, this does mean I have 147lbs of fat on my frame. Yeah, that's a lot, yes yes, lots of work and such. To be discussed another time.)

This means, best case scenario, at optimum health and fitness I could weigh 200-215 I think?

Because you can't have NO body fat. That's unhealthy too.

Please don't think I'm using this as an excuse to eat Doritos and wear sweatpants forever.

I don't really like either of those things, tbh.

I will just be a very fit fat girl.

And I am totally and thankfully just fine with that.